Wednesday, August 15, 2007

A Battle! A War!

"Internet threat! Internet threat!" screams the student as he flees from the computer; running for his life.

The teacher states, "Children, you've heard of stranger danger, well these images you see, these links you can stumble upon, your misspelled Google searches, they are why we have instituted the following amendments to our district's AUP:

1. Cell-phone detectors at all entry points. Obviously, the possibility of a corrupted soul using this rocket in their pocket...hey, no giggling...

2. ED-SEL - a new search engine filter that blocks all search engine searches. Our district is not so reactionary that we would block your ability to get to Google.

3. QWERTY - Questionable Words Eliminated Regarding Township Youth. Some words pose too much of a risk. Take some of our recently eliminated words: hoof, codpiece, and slide. And yes, teachers will be adjusting their units...hey, no giggling...and our maintenance staff is already in the process of removing the slide. Remove temptation.

Thanks, Kristin, for the inspiration.

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