Thursday, August 28, 2008

no, let me ask you

The overly sensitive people at WAYN (Where Are You Now?) sent me this slap on the wrist today, less than 18 hours after signing up:

The profile photo which was uploaded to your membership on Aug 28 2008 3:08AM has been removed as it was deemed inappropriate for the WAYN Profile.
To avoid photos being removed in future please do not upload images which are of an explicit nature, indecent, or could be seen as offensive in any way. Images which are obviously bogus, of celebrities, children...may also be deemed inappropriate.

Your profile image should be a true representation of yourself.
With the notable exception of my reflection, there is no better representation of myself than my son.

So, for the team over at Where Are You Now?

I don't care.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

do not open until 2033


If I tell you something phenomenal happened earlier, I'm not sure what you'll think. You may accuse me of rampant hyperbole, or of making something grandiose that you view as mundane.

But when "the great state of New York" cast all of its votes, when 2/3 of the needed votes had been rendered, when Senator Obama received the official nomination, I couldn't help but feel overwhelmed.

You'll tell me it's no big deal. You'll tell me that the issue of race is an antiquated topic; that there are larger, more pressing issues facing this country, this world.

And I'll still feel overwhelmed. That perhaps I've done right by you, that I've modeled acceptance, that what a person can do trumps the color of his or her skin, that some things should be simple, are simple, rightfully simple.

Something happened earlier, and it was phenomenal. But you'll tell me nothing spectacular happened, and that will be just as phenomenal.

Proud to be an American,

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

nielsen ratings on the rise

The Alliterative Approach
Welcome back! I hope you had a restful, relaxing, and rejuvenating summer. A summer filled with family, friends, and fun.

The beginning of the school year is often a hectic and hurried rush of planning, prepping, and professional development; however, I'd like to extend an open offer to collaborate with you at some point during the school year.

If you are looking to enhance student engagement, enthusiasm, and inquiry, then we should plan on meeting to discuss the many lessons, labs, and learning opportunities forthcoming.

Feel free to contact or call at a time you find most convenient.

The Alliterative Answer
No, no, no.

Monday, August 4, 2008

a nasty letter

Dear Mr. Rodoff;

It has come to our attention that 31 days have passed since your last post. At Google, we pride ourselves on active participation from our bloggers, but we also take equal pride in our invidious treatment of users who neglect their sites.

Please post at your earliest convenience. This letter represents Phase One, our first step in re-activating your active participation.

The following protocols have been established should you continue to neglect your blog:

Phase 2: A call home
Phase 3: Ridicule on Facebook
Phase 4: Posting personal photos from your elementary school days
Phase 5: Pretending to be you, we will post inane comments on other blogs¹
Phase 6: Falsifying 'Ken Rodoff' entry on Wikipedia²
Phase 7: Saturday morning detention
Phase 8: Releasing the hounds
Phase 9: Something plague-like upon your home, possibly the L.Lohan Virus
Phase 10: Email follow-up
Phase 11: Referring to your teaching practices as 'didactic'
Phase 12: Forced viewing of Greatest American Dog Season One-Unabridged
Phase 13: Anything whose origin can be traced back to a Michael Crichton novel
Phase 14: U-Streaming you
Phase 15: Parent-teacher conference with school disciplinarian, special education coordinator, truancy officer, and nurse

¹ we doubt anyone will be able to tell the difference
² at times, this does help

Thank you for your choice to use Blogger as your blogging platform. We look forward to reading your upcoming posts.

Odds are, you're working on one right now. Phase One tends to solve all issues.


The Blogger Team

P.S. - It's a cheap move to use this letter as a post, so don't.