...if anyone has tried rewriting the letter?
regarding a New Jersey middle school prinicpal's letter that asks parents to ban social-networking sites.
Why, yes, Claire!
Dear Parents,Or another possibility, shorter, terse:
Take away the cell phones. Yours, too. Go landline. Rooted, intertwined with the land. Like the Na'vi.
Remove the computer. And the other one. There be no use for such a device. Return to the cave. Make fire, abundant and crackling. Set down a log between the fire and the wall of the cave. Seat your cherubs upon its bark-festered surface. Stand betwixt flame and thy seated younglings. Hold carvings and whittled items in such a fashion that shadows present themselves upon the cave's wall. Invite curiousity and response from the seated off-spring. All will be well.
Additionally, please insure that the following occur daily at home and on your way:
- Cook breakfast. Things lean and protein-y.
- Sit, eyes and ears affixed to your children, and solicit today's goals and dreams that each may have. Encourage persistence. Offer extra soy milk.
- Walk to the bus stop with your children. Label plants and foliage along the way. Urbanites: discuss zoning and sprawl.
- Discourage adjectives. Adjectives hurt, damage, and describe. Promote nouns. Celebrate onomatopoeia.
Please home school.