a litigious...lot?

I mean, what's the technical term for a group of unicorns?

My recent absence on this blog is in no way indicative of my blogging passion. It's just that I've learned I'm better served by blogging about something other than education.

And zippee do-dah indeed if recent news hasn't validated my choice to alter my blogging focus.

But it appears that my real passion has crossed the alleged mythical line that exists between unicorns and their legal representation firm.

Exception they have taken, indeed!

Behold a sampling of the constitutionally-inspired assault I received recently:

Lest you be so uninformed as to recognize the ignominious depiction you project of our rights'-entitled client base, our legal team is obligated to inform you that you must cease and de-continue your web blog as it is in direct violation of the privacy rights afforded to all unicorns.

Please note that unicorns have enjoyed uninterrupted years of privacy, and if our clients wished to have their lives subject to interpretation on the world wide interwebwork, they have just as many limbs as their human counterparts and could blog with alacrity. But they choose not to.

While we recognize that your blog is celebratory, and at times, pun-ny, you must exercise immense caution when blogging, not only about humans or animals, but mythical creatures as well. We recommend automotive detritus. We can even provide you with some catchy domain names. We've cross-referenced against Technorati and Bloglines.

The letter goes on. Needless to say, I'm running out of blogging topics.

when it's ubiquitous

Moderately Assiduous Student:

I don't know why we have all these technology projects. I'm using MovieMaker in one class, Animoto in another, and I just finished up a VoiceThread.

Instructional Technology Coach:

They're not technology projects.

Moderately Assiduous Student About To Ask The Question IT Coach Wants To Hear:

Then what are they?

IT Coach:

Projects.

6oz under

If you're going to order the reduced sodium oven-gold turkey breast, please order, and only order, in quarter-pound increments.

Posthumously,

Deli Clerk

one small footprint

phildelphia inquirer: keep your kids away!

Read the article. Don't look at the advertisements!

new jersey: land of corn and tomatoes

Claire Thompson, the eleventh person to comment on Jeff Utecht's (educator, consultant, presenter) blog post, "Confusing Parents", asks:

...if anyone has tried rewriting the letter?

regarding a New Jersey middle school prinicpal's letter that asks parents to ban social-networking sites.

Why, yes, Claire!

Dear Parents,

Take away the cell phones. Yours, too. Go landline. Rooted, intertwined with the land. Like the Na'vi.

Remove the computer. And the other one. There be no use for such a device. Return to the cave. Make fire, abundant and crackling. Set down a log between the fire and the wall of the cave. Seat your cherubs upon its bark-festered surface. Stand betwixt flame and thy seated younglings. Hold carvings and whittled items in such a fashion that shadows present themselves upon the cave's wall. Invite curiousity and response from the seated off-spring. All will be well.

Additionally, please insure that the following occur daily at home and on your way:

• Cook breakfast. Things lean and protein-y.
• Sit, eyes and ears affixed to your children, and solicit today's goals and dreams that each may have. Encourage persistence. Offer extra soy milk.
• Walk to the bus stop with your children. Label plants and foliage along the way. Urbanites: discuss zoning and sprawl.
• Discourage adjectives. Adjectives hurt, damage, and describe. Promote nouns. Celebrate onomatopoeia.

Or another possibility, shorter, terse:

Dear Parents,

Please home school.

kindled, indeed

Due to the prevalence of intra-scholastic relationships between faculty members, those pining for teacher-teacher relations now have:



Of note: Register before March 31st, and you will automatically be entered to win an Amazon Kindle.

Because nothing says I'm looking for love more than I'm going to sit home and read.